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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25124983">a curse in a graceful disguise</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprinklednana/pseuds/sprinklednana'>sprinklednana</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>sugarplum elegy (lee brothers series) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2jae being the sweetest brothers, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Brotherly Love, Light Angst, M/M, u don't have to read lee brothers pt 1 but it'd be better if u do</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:34:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25124983</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprinklednana/pseuds/sprinklednana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Na brothers weren't too different from each other. They were both beautiful boys with precious smiles and hearts that didn’t know when it was time to stop giving.</p>
<p>(or how Jaemin watched Jaehyun crash after falling for a Lee boy, and how that still wasn't enough to stop Jaemin from crashing for another)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun &amp; Na Jaemin, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>sugarplum elegy (lee brothers series) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>228</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a curse in a graceful disguise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i loved this series too much i couldn't stop myself.... now it's time for some 2jae brotherly love and more jaeyong angst. you've been warned.</p>
<p>i would really love to hear what you think about this one!!! please do leave kudos and comment &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>The easiest thing about being Jaemin Na, despite being a conventionally attractive male with above average intelligence and more than decent social skills, <em>still</em> has got to be having Jaehyun as an older brother.</p>
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<p>Being the youngest child of a pretty standard family is often seen as having to share with someone your entire life, getting the leftovers and having to endure every single hand-me-down, and <em> always </em>being compared to someone in just about every aspect that exists. </p>
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<p>Despite the truth of this, Jaemin has never really minded.</p>
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<p>Being Jaehyun’s younger brother has provided him a cushion. Although his older brother was almost always <em> irritatingly perfect</em>, even <em>he</em> had his fair share of mistakes. And from these mistakes, Jaemin learned without having to suffer the consequences firsthand.</p>
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<p>He learned which teachers and classes to <em> absolutely </em> run the other way from. Jaehyun’s dark bags, audible groans from the other side of the wall, and out of character <em> hate-fueled </em> rants are still very clear in his mind. </p>
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<p>He learned how to carefully skirt around both of his parents (individually <em>and</em> in the very dangerous times that they team up) to avoid being reprimanded. He learned how to set the house oven just right to avoid burning his food <em>("Right between the 4th and the 5th dash, Nana. Turn it off five seconds before it's supposed to beep, the sound gives dad a headache."),</em> learned which words triggered which relative <em>("Never mention the word </em>moist <em>around Aunt Kouyou, I swear to God that word is the key to pandora's box.")</em>, which muscles to focus on stretching to avoid being sore after a particularly gruesome volleyball training, and which of their mother’s experimental cookings to excuse his way out of <em> at all costs. </em></p>
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<p>From Jaehyun, he learned how to not fall in love with one of the Lee boys.</p>
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<p>The elder never made anything difficult for him, in all honesty, Jaehyun always goes out of his way to make sure that nothing ever hurts Jaemin. Always makes sure Jaemin is wearing his protective helmet, fixes his gloves and his kneepads, and is always the one to check the dairy content of the food they order so it's never <em>too </em>much for Jaemin.</p>
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<p>Which makes it all the more painful to see Jaehyun’s lips curl slowly into a small sad smile whenever Jeno Lee comes over the Na household. </p>
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<p>Jaehyun knows Jaemin like the back of his very hand. Jaehyun would know what he was thinking and how he was feeling from the way that the younger breathed.</p>
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<p>He didn’t say it. Even when they both knew it to be true. Because Jaehyun was <em> kind </em> and <em> sweet </em> and so so <em> so </em> horribly <em> understanding, </em> that the small sad smile on his face made every inch of Jaemin <em> ache. </em></p>
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<p>The heavens took all of the <em> greatest brother qualities </em>and generously poured all of it into Jaehyun.</p>
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<p>From the elder’s biggest mistake, or the mistake that took the most of him, Jaemin learned how to turn his head away and refuse to watch himself fall in love.</p>
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<p>They have always been <em> too close </em>growing up. While other brothers were too busy with their banters and their pranks and pretending they wouldn’t lay down their life for the other, Jaemin and Jaehyun have never had the capability to be embarrassed by brotherly love, choosing to never be secretive with their affection. </p>
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<p>They have yet to notice, too humble and too wrapped around in their own little world, but the Na boys, in their own quiet way, have made names for themselves in their little old town.</p>
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<p>While stories about the Lee boys were always enveloped in <em> awe, </em>they were more often than not, shrouded in jealousy and sometimes anger as well. </p>
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<p>The Na boys were different. While the Lee boys were the year-long winter of their little town, as <em> magnificent </em> as they were <em> unattainable </em> and <em> cold, </em>the Na boys spread Spring with each of their step.</p>
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<p>The Na boys were pink cheeked and tender hearted, giving away their love palms up and wide-smiled. They wore their hearts on their sleeves, and there wasn’t a single person in their little town who knew them, young or old, that wasn’t at least half in love with both boys.</p>
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<p>They weren’t too different from each other, the Na brothers. They are both positively recognized in school, are both participating in various sports teams, and are both active volunteers in charity programs and church events. <em>"My little angels,"  </em>their mother always tells them, voice so soft and so fond and so <em>proud, </em><em>"how did mama ever deserve you?"</em></p>
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<p>They were both beautiful boys with precious smiles and hearts that didn’t know when it was time to stop giving. </p>
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<p>And like his older brother, Jaemin couldn’t help but find himself falling for a Lee boy. </p>
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<p>He should’ve been more prepared. He heard all the stories, saw all the warnings, and witnessed the evidence from his angel of a brother’s face. </p>
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<p>But by the time he noticed the telltale signs of crashing, cheeks heating and giggles bubbling up his throat and pinkies unconsciously seeking one another under the table, it was already much too late. </p>
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<p>It didn’t matter how far Jaemin was willing to go just to deny it. It didn’t matter how he refused to watch himself fall and turned his whole body away from the scene. It didn’t matter that he tucked the words in a chest, forever folded and locked away. </p>
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<p>When Jaemin crashed, he felt it from the tips of his hair down to his toes. When Jaemin crashed, he knew the words, without it being spoken, in the deepest depths of his heart.</p>
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<p>He was warned off of loving Jeno Lee, not just by Jaehyun, but almost everyone in their little town. But Jaemin’s heart was as stupid as it was stubborn. It jumped off of Jaemin’s chest as hard as it could, without any kind of preamble, and expected Jaemin to run right after it. </p>
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<p>It took a long while for him to admit it to himself, but he can finally say it now. Put simply, Jaemin was lost.</p>
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<p>And so Jaemin goes to the first place he can think of that was safe. A place where he can lay all his cards down, without anyone cheating him from all his worth.</p>
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<p>That is this place: In the dimness of Jaehyun’s room, where the only light came from the <em>5 o’clock in the afternoon</em> sun shielded by Jaehyun’s blue curtains, pressing his cheek against his older brother’s chest as they both lay down on the elder’s bed.</p>
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<p>Like this, Jaemin was free to bare his heart. </p>
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<p>“What was it like?” He asks, after minutes and minutes of the quiet, “What was it like to love Taeyong Lee?”</p>
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<p>Jaehyun doesn’t answer for a while, opting to let his fingers, rough from playing almost every sport known to man, run through the younger’s hair.</p>
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<p>When Jaehyun answered, his voice was low, like his heart was loud enough for everything else in the room. “It was good, I’d like to think. That's what most people in town don't get. It was fine, as fine as first loves go.”</p>
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<p>“Do you regret it?” Jaemin whispered. <em> Did it hurt when he left you? </em>Was the first question Jaemin though of, but that was stupid. Of course it hurt, Jaemin <em>remembers</em> how much it hurt.</p>
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<p>When Jaehyun answered, his words sounded like they were weighed down. Shackled heavily in his chest and struggled to come out of his mouth. </p>
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<p>The elder Na boy closes his eyes and imagines a blurry picture of Taeyong’s slow rare smile. He remembers how the smaller's lips would curl beautifully, while his eyes slightly widened, like <em> he </em>was more surprised by his own beautiful smile than anybody else. </p>
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<p>Jaehyun imagines the soft little huff the smile comes with, how Taeyong would cover his mouth with the tips of his fingers shortly afterwards.</p>
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<p>He thinks of the way Taeyong would curl in his arms, how different he was whenever they were in the eyes of their little town, all cold eyes, chin in the air, and tense shoulders. Always ready for a fight and always bracing himself. He thinks of the way Taeyong once smiled at a tinier version of Jaemin across the Na household's kitchen counter, giving into all of the younger's whims. Jaehyun remembers how his lover had said, <em>"I don't know why this town is so fixated on me and my brothers, you Na boys are the dangerous ones."</em></p>
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<p>But <em> here</em>, in Jaehyun’s arms, Taeyong was soft and pliant. He’d nuzzle his face in Jaehyun’s neck and murmur sweet nothings in Jaehyun’s ear, voice low and mind hazy with sleepiness.</p>
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<p>Jaehyun thinks of the endearingly random way Taeyong used to press his cheek against Jaehyun’s lips, sometimes his fingers or the inside of his wrist or the top of his head or the juncture where his shoulder meets his neck, in lieu of asking for a kiss.</p>
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<p>He thinks of the way Taeyong would always give him that <em> look</em>. His little freshman year brain couldn’t come up with its meaning back then. All he could think of was the way it made something heavy and jagged drag along his insides. But now that he’s thinking back to it, it becomes clear. </p>
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<p>Taeyong had looked at him with eyes that said <em> I don’t want to break your heart. </em></p>
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<p>He remembers how, in a rare moment of vulnerability, Taeyong once held Jaehyun’s face in between his smooth palms, eyes meeting despite the darkness of the eldest Lee’s room. “You’re so <em> good.”  </em></p>
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<p>In barely a whisper, Taeyong had continued, <em> “I don’t think I’ll ever deserve you.” </em></p>
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  <em> Jaehyun didn’t want Taeyong to leave him. </em>
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<p>And what good did either of their wants do.</p>
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<p><em>Do you regret it? </em>Jaehyun’s answer that afternoon will be written in Jaemin’s hands every time he chooses to pull away from Jeno’s touch. In the back of his eyelids every time he chooses to turn away from the glaring truth. In the back of his throat whenever the words <em> I, love, </em> and <em> you </em> threaten to choke themselves out of his mouth.</p>
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<p><em> “Yes,” </em> Jaehyun had answered, “<em>Yes I do.</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading!!! &lt;3</p>
<p>You can also ask me questions in my <a href="https://curiouscat.me/sprinklednana">cc</a> or <a href="https://twitter.com/sprinklednana?lang=en">twt</a> if you want!</p>
<p>I also made a <a href="https://ko-fi.com/sprinklednana">ko-fi</a> and i would really appreciate it if you supported me there :(</p></blockquote></div></div>
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